Late Night Ramblin'

I'm going to open with what should be the closing. Because it's the most important thing about this post.

Typical BSer house evening ends with me moving Alya out of our bed and into hers. Tonight, when that happened, she woke up a bit to check she had the correct woobie in the bed (bear, not pink) and I confirmed that it was indeed the correct one. Satisfied, she curled up and went back to sleep as I placed the important stuffed animals next to her. As I walked out I said, "Good night, Squirrel." and closed the door.

Often I don't speak when putting either kid in bed, but Alya had already pulled a response on woobie, so I knew it wouldn't hurt the sleep process.

That little verbalization choked me up a bit because I'm thinking that to them both every night, and eventually I won't be tucking these small ones into bed. And they mean the world to me. Everything else I've done, does not come to this level.

Which leaves the question, "What next?"

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I started reading The Player of Games by Ian M. Banks a day ago. The main character is a game player. Like someone who is a professional chess player, only with as many games as he likes and that's all he does. Only he's at a crisis point because he's bored. What's next in his path because he has played and beaten just about everything.

Meanwhile, my world of games has been odd. My board games are getting dustier. Magic cards are floating around all over the place, but a change would be needed to really hone my skills on that one. I have many miniature games in foam trays, needing assembly, paint and a chance to fight on the battlefield. But there's no gaming passion. Nothing that pulls my attention constantly like a mongrel on a bone.

While sitting on the basement step, I couldn't help but see my stack of Japanese language instruction loaded on a shelf. It defines me, but the motivation is no longer present. Perhaps I should be clearing that all off and resign that goal for now. Like the guitar in the close, learning either would be a major growth undertaking, but both are also previous paths that were never finished.

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The final item of the evening - a year book from Pius XI High School. 1988 to be precise.

At Manpower I walk through the building and know about 1/4 to 1/3 of the people. Not personally, but recognize them either through my own times there or through Sasha's work.

That ratio is much lower in my yearbook. Then again my class had well over 400 students in it and I was never a true social butterfly.

Things that kept cropping up in the words written by others, "I didn't really know you until this year." "You're funny and strange." "Sorry I hit you in the head with a pen." Okay, that last one not so much. Some of the words written triggered a small bit of sadness. Relationships unexplored. Relationships explored and ruined at a latter time. Friendships that were acquired a little too late in the game to be able to maintain. Or distances, written by one as "We are going our separate ways in search of... A PARTY", creating that gulf making the connect difficult to maintain.

But no regret.

High school (and soon college) is half a life away for me now. While knowing where people are today (thank Facebook) is neat, that's over 20 years ago. I've got too much future going on to keep living in the past. (Although a few ghosts do loom from time to time.)

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There's a song out now called, "Home" by Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros that has really grabbed my ears. I was playing it for the kids on the drive to their daycare, and during the speaking portion (listen to the song, it's that good) I talked to Alya and Marcus about what was happening that day and night and how I love them both so very much.

The line from the song that sticks is, "Home is where ever I'm with you." So when I went to Manpower Saturday where Sasha was putting in extra hours, Alya told her, "I'm happy to be home." Sasha was a little puzzled and asked if home was Manpower. "No, home is when we're all together."

That's my squirrel.

And that's my "What's next?" for the next 20 years of my life.

Be seeing you,

Jon

Biting the Bullet

So much has been happening that there has hardly been time to write a blog post about it. So, here's there elevator pitch of the past couple of weeks:

- Managed to finally see Avatar. Visually mind-blowing, but it was hard to keep from laughing at the story.

- Took Alya and Marcus to Great America for the first time. Alya and Marcus rode the Whizzer. Alya loved it and rode another kid-sized coaster seven times.

- Loaded the kids up in a bike trailer and went for a ride. They like the little journeys even if Daddy maintains the bad habit of pushing himself too hard initially.

- Determined that an appetizer is mandatory with Calderone Club pizza, and french fried eggplant fits the bill very well. Marcus likes the pizza crust more than anything else.

- Video gaming has been falling off, until Super Street Fighter IV arrived. Sounds dorky, but is great fun.

- Still haven't hooked up that old Atari 2600.

- Took the kids to Six Flags Great America again. Alya and Marcus rode the Whizzer again. Marcus loved the Scrambler/Hometown Fun Machine. Alya rode the Whizzer three more times. Then Alya rode the Demon four times. She is a coaster fiend.

- My little sister and her husband had their baby boy, Asher Cohen, and we're so happy for them. Congrats to them and to my Mom for her third grandchild.

- The Roos family had their baby boy and we're so happy for them. Congrats guys! The adventure begins again.

- Sasha's been on a working spree that has led to a lot of late nights and a little bit of travel. Single parents, you are so strong.

- Tried to get the kids to relax with Star Wars. Marcus fell asleep, Alya fought to stay awake. They later watched most of the first Clone Wars cartoon. They will like Star Wars, this I give them.

- Replaced our digital camera that died with a new Panasonic camera. It's not bad, but I wouldn't recommend it for everyone. Sorely disappointed with a new Sony model and had to return it.

- Went to a cook out with my work team and had a great time. The kids got to play with other little ones around the same age and really loved it. Thanks Patrick.

- I really need to get into the shower. Not because I'm smelly, but because I need to get ready for work and get the kids out the door and pack a lunch and... and... and...

Yeah. Time to stop blogging.

Jon

PS - Was singing "Home" by Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros to the kids in the car yesterday on the way to school. (great song if you haven't heard it yet) And while singing, I made up my own words for the speaking segment of the song about the kids and what we were going to be doing that day. It was very emotional for me, but the kids are a big part of my "home".

Just Past Midnight

That's it. All done. My 40th birthday proper has ended.

I am now 40.003 years old.

And I'm good with that.

Today was more marvelous than I could ever ask for. And nearly all of it is due to the hard work of my wife of nearly 10 years, Sasha.

She and the kids made me breakfast, cut flowers for the party, made a birthday cake from scratch (lemon bundt), cooked up 25 lbs of barbecue ribs. Plus a salad, potatoes, chips and guacamole, shrimp cocktail. Just crazy stuff, that was delicious and a delight.

Then family and a couple of friends who are family came over to deal with the food. It was on both sides and that meant a lot to me. We sat outside (fantastic weather) and talked and laughed and ate. One cannot ask for more, but I got it.

Alya squeezing a glass of fresh orange juice just for me. Marcus playing "Happy birthday" on the kazoo. Being able to play the role of guest of honor instead of host. Pure fantastic.

And on Facebook, I had tons of people wishing me a happy birthday. Friends from long ago, family that live outside of Milwaukee, co-workers, and friends that I see on a frequent basis. This is the kind of thing that makes Facebook great. (Although I hear "Farmville" is pretty cool.)

Alas, 40 also wears on the bones and the brain. Sleep calls and while I don't want to pick up the phone, I really don't have much choice in the matter.

Good night folks!

Jon